False Solar Eclipse Myths and Conspiracy Theories

Eclipses make for excellent conspiracy theory material for people who have zero functioning brain power on matters of even basic science.  Here are several myths and conspiracy theories founded in pure stupidity about solar eclipses:

• A total solar eclipse produces harmful rays that can produce blindness and cause other damage to human beings.

This is obvious poop because in reality during a solar eclipse the moon is blocking the typical harmful rays that emanate from the sun that could cause blindness and other damage to human beings.  Yay radiation!  The moon even blocks the damaging rays that can lead to various forms of cancer!  The eclipse is actually doing the opposite of what these conspiracy theorists believe.  Of course, when the solar eclipse is not in totality the light that is coming directly from the sun can in fact cause blindness and other damage to one’s body.

• To expand upon the first listed conspiracy theory, it is also believed by idiots that people who are pregnant should never permit themselves to watch a solar eclipse.  The special and unique radiation produced by the solar eclipse is very harmful to unborn children. 

In reality, it’s truly safer for a pregnant person to watch a total solar eclipse than to simply be outside on a day when the sun is shining since the moon during a solar eclipse blocks the harmful radiation from the sun rather than producing such radiation.

• To further the dangerous radioactive emissions conspiracy theories of eclipses, supposedly any food that is prepared during a solar eclipse becomes poisoned by the radiation that is produced by the eclipse.

Yet again, the moon during an eclipse prevents the penetration of solar radiation into substances such as food during a solar eclipse.

• In modern times, conspiracy theorists have added to their beliefs that all cellular phones should be turned off by midnight prior to the solar eclipse to prevent any damage to the phones from solar eclipse radiation.

The significant reduction of solar radiation during a solar eclipse means that during a solar eclipse a phone is even less likely to be damaged than if exposed to normal rays from the sun during a typical, sunlit day.

• Solar eclipses on your birthday or exactly six months after your birthday are signs of extremely bad health coming your way.

Just no.  Eclipses are highly predictable events and are a sign of nothing other than that God’s creation is incredibly beautiful in many different ways.

• Finally, pretty much anything that Donald Trump or Majorie Taylor Greene say about an eclipse is false and in the realm of conspiracy theory.  These individuals have zero understanding of science and I’m honestly surprised that they were permitted to walk at their high school graduations.

Please enjoy solar (and lunar) eclipses for the scientific beauty that they are.  Check out information from sources like NASA to find out when the next eclipse will be viewable in your area, that way you can purchase ahead of time appropriate amounts of helium and inflatable dolls to mess with the minds of conspiracy theorists who think eclipses are a sign of the rapture.